I Will Always Love You
by snapesgirl21
Summary: What does it take to find the strength to let go of the person you love? A Babe story, told in four parts from different POVs.
1. Ranger

_Author's Note: I've based this story on the song "I Will Always Love You" by Dolly Parton/Whitney Houston (whichever you prefer). The characters clearly belong to Janet Evanovich. The chapter title refers to the character whose POV is being presented._

I could hear my pulse pounding in my ears as I walked down the hall towards Stephanie's apartment. Everything in my being told me not to do this, not to walk in there and say what I was about to say. My instinct was to sweep her up in my arms, carry her to bed and make her forget she'd ever met Joe Morelli. I wanted to make her forget that she'd agreed to be his wife, and forget that I had kept her at arm's length for too long. But I couldn't do that now. I'd tormented her for long enough, and now I needed to let her go. She had accepted Morelli's proposal six months ago, and I hadn't changed my ways. I'd been expecting it to fall apart, the way it always did, but they had a wedding date set and the church booked. She had gone to order her dress last month, which had been my cue to get moving along.

I knocked once on her door and opened it, letting myself in for the countless—and last— time. I could hear noise in the kitchen and headed that way, meeting her in the doorway. She had boxes stacked up around her apartment, preparing to move in with Morelli later in the week.

"Hey," she said brightly. "Did you come to help me pack?"

"No," I said, finding it difficult to talk. "I came to say good-bye."

"Where are you going this time? Puerto Rico? Somalia? Antarctica?"

"Miami."

"Not very exotic, but better than here. When will you be back?" Stephanie asked, going back into the kitchen to resuming packing. She was wrapping glasses in newspaper before putting them in a box.

I just stood there and took her in for a minute, trying to remember everything about her. The way she could never contain the curls at the base of her neck in her ponytail, how she always had her toenails painted red, and she was always so sexy in an old t-shirt and striped pajama pants. I felt like someone had a vise grip on my heart as I finally found the ability to open my mouth and speak again.

"I'm not coming back."

Stephanie had been holding a beer mug that she had been about to wrap in newspaper when I'd broken the news to her. She had stopped what she was doing, turned around to look at me, and dropped the mug, which shattered all over her kitchen floor, but she didn't seem to notice. She stared at me in disbelief and for a moment I thought she'd stopped breathing.

"Wh—wh—what do you mean you aren't coming back?" she croaked, tears welling up in her eyes as she spoke.

"I'm going to be living in Miami permanently," I told her, clenching my fist to help give myself an outlet for the emotions inside.

"But what about me?" she whispered, the tears falling down her cheeks. "What am I supposed to do?"

"You'll do what you're already doing—you'll marry Morelli and move on with your life."

Stephanie stood in her kitchen, looking at me as though she couldn't believe what she was hearing. The tears were continuing to fall down her cheeks and sobs were beginning to emerge.

"You can't leave me," she said, trying to not completely fall apart.

"You aren't mine to leave, babe. I'm moving on with my life, just like you."

With those words, Stephanie began sobbing in earnest. She walked over to me and grabbed onto the front of my t-shirt, shaking her head with a panicked expression on her face.

"You can't leave. I need you here. Please, please, Ranger, don't leave. Please!"

"Babe," I said, my voice cracking slightly. I was unable to help myself as I wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I have to go. I can't leave you alone if I'm here, and I can't watch you marry Morelli. If I stay, I'll only continue to torment you the way I have for the past five years. You don't deserve that, Stephanie. You deserve to be happy."

"And you think I'll be happy if I can't see you?" she cried, running her hands up to my face. I closed my eyes at her touch and savored it for the last time, remembering the softness of her skin and the smell of her perfume.

"I want you to know that I love you. I will _always_ love you," I told her, taking her face in my hands and looking her in the eye. "No other woman on this planet will ever have me the way you have. If it were ever going to have been anyone, it would have been you."

A pained look crossed her face at my words. "If I'm the only one you want, then why didn't you fight for me?"

"Because I'm not what you need."

We stood looking at each other for a moment while the reality of everything set in with Stephanie. The pain on her face reflected the pain I was feeling. I lowered my head and pressed my lips to hers, giving her a tender kiss that I hoped told her what I was feeling. I felt her start to respond more, but I pulled away. I pressed my forehead to hers and closed my eyes. I'd told myself that I wouldn't see her again after this moment, so I wanted to make it last as long as possible.

"Goodbye, Stephanie," I whispered, and I pulled away, walking towards the door.

"NO!" she shrieked and ran after me, reaching the door before I did. "You can't leave like this."

"Stephanie, please," I pleaded. I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep it together much longer. I was pretty good at keeping my emotions in check, but the few times I'd lost control in the last five years had all been in relation to Stephanie. This was just one more time, and I suspected that even though I wouldn't see her again, it wouldn't be the last.

"If you leave, I'll never forgive you," she whispered, looking devastated. "I'll never forgive you for making me love you and then walking away."

Her words were my undoing, and I clenched my jaw and turned away from her, trying to contain the flood of pain that had washed over me. I felt hot tears prick my eyes, but I'd be damned if I would let her see them when she was going to marry another man.

"You can't forgive me?" I asked, turning around to face her. "What about me? I'm the one who fell in love with you and remained content with whatever I could get while you turned your relationship with Morelli off-and-on like a goddamn light switch, pulling me in just enough to make yourself feel good, but guilty, and subsequently pushing me away again to make yourself feel better. I didn't want this, Stephanie. I didn't need something like this in my life, but you and that fucking determination and good heart and sexy body—" I cut myself off, knowing that this conversation would do us no good. I just needed to get the hell out of there.

"Stephanie, move, or I will move you," I told her, squaring my shoulders and pulling myself together once more.

She made no indication that she was going to move so after five seconds, so I strode across the room, grabbed her and pulled her away from the door. I opened the door and shut it, ignoring her cries. It took all I had not to run from her apartment, and by the time I arrived in my car I could barely see. I sat in the driver's seat for a moment, fighting the pain that threatened to take over. I hit the top of the steering wheel with my hand as hard as I could, knowing there would likely be a bruise the next day. Why did I have to love her? Why had I ever let her in?

I looked in my mirror to see Stephanie walking out of the apartment building. She had spotted my car and was headed towards it. I turned over the ignition and pulled out of her lot, willing myself not to look back at her in my mirror. I knew that I'd had no right to say those things to her. She may have led me on physically at times and felt guilty about it, but I'd led her on emotionally, only to push her away when I was too afraid of what might happen if I didn't. Ten minutes later, I pulled into the Rangeman garage and parked the Turbo. I had too much hurt and anger pent up inside me to try to do anything productive, so I rode the elevator up to my apartment, changed clothes and went back to down to the gym where I proceeded to spend the next half hour beating the punching bag. I imagined it was the man who loved Stephanie and wanted her to be his for the rest of his life; the man who had held her in his arms and made love to her, promising himself that he would never let anything happen to her. I pretended I was beating the shit out of the person that had murdered a man, held an elderly woman at gunpoint and had jumped off a bridge, all in the name of keeping her alive. The same man who was such a coward when it came to emotions that he had lost her to another man who could never love her the way he did.

"That bag is good and dead."

I stopped what I was doing to see Tank standing nearby. I was breathing heavily from exertion, and knew he was right. I needed to stop.

"Right. Is my flight on time?" I asked, taking off the protective gloves.

"Yes. Are you sure about this?" he asked hesitantly.

Tank was wading into dangerous waters with that type of question. He'd never asked me about my relationship with Stephanie, and I had never volunteered any information. He had undoubtedly seen her leave my apartment wearing the last night's clothes on more than one occasion, had seen my car parked in her lot all night at times, but he had never questioned anything. He had simply protected her and monitored her the way I had asked.

"I'm sure," I told him, heading towards the hallway. "Did you remove the tracker from her car?"

"No," Tank said, looking surprised. "I'm supposed to?"

"The Stephanie Plum detail is over. It's Morelli's job to keep her safe now."

"You're really going to trust Morelli to keep your girl safe?"

"She's not my girl. She never was."

_A/N 2: This is going to be a Babe story. Please be patient and keep reading. There are only going to be four chapters. _


	2. Morelli

I sat down on the couch and waited while Stephanie took a shower. I knew I needed to talk to her because we couldn't keep living this way. I knew exactly what I needed to say, even though I couldn't believe it was actually happening. I'd tried to tell myself things would get better with Ranger out of the picture, but things had only gotten worse as time had passed.

It had been three months to the day since I'd found Stephanie sitting on her kitchen floor staring absently at the opposite wall, surrounded by broken glass. She'd clearly been crying, and when she saw me she'd started sobbing again. I'd held her, thinking someone had died as I tried to get her to calm down enough to tell me what had happened. When she finally told me that Ranger had stopped by to tell her he was leaving town permanently, I'd been simultaneously happy and pissed off. I was happy because I felt like Stephanie and I would be able to be truly happy and together with Ranger out of the picture. I was pissed off because of her reaction. She was heartbroken. I'd always known she was in love with him, but I'd told myself it didn't matter because she'd chosen to be with me. I hadn't been sure of what all went on between them, but had been sure that once we'd gotten engaged that anything physical had stopped. I wished he hadn't stopped to see her, but would have left her a letter instead, or just left without a word. So I had sat on the floor and held her, not commenting on how I felt about Ranger's departure and her reaction. I told myself we would just move on with our lives. She was moving in with me a few days after that, and our wedding was scheduled for four months later. That was plenty of time for her to get over Ranger's leaving.

I'd been respectful of her pain for the first couple of weeks, pretending I didn't hear her crying in bed at night after she thought I'd gone to sleep, or that I didn't notice her react anytime we saw one of the Rangeman vehicles driving down the street. But then one night she accidentally called me by his name while we were having sex, and my sensitivity came to an end. The argument had been explosive and resulted in her moving in with her parents for two weeks. She later apologized, saying she was sad that she'd lost her friend, but that she hadn't really imaging that he had been the person in bed with her that night. I almost believed her.

After she had moved back in and we'd acknowledged that she missed Ranger, I had assumed that Stephanie's mood would improve, and our relationship along with it. Her initial grief, which had come in the form of pretending to be fine but crying when she thought I wasn't aware, had turned into numb acceptance. She didn't pretend she was fine, but she'd also stopped crying at night. She no longer paid attention to the Rangeman vehicles, nor did she bat an eye when a black Porsche Turbo pulled up next to us at a stop light. I'd suspected it was Ranger, but had run the plates later to find out that it wasn't. She went through the motions of wedding planning, bounty hunting and daily life. I suspected that many of her orgasms were faked, but couldn't bring it up without causing a major argument.

We'd gone to dinner at my mother's house this evening, joined by my Grandma Bella, Uncle Chooch, my aunt Mary Angela, and my sister and her family. Everyone was happy and laughing, knocking back the wine and enjoying my mother's famous ziti. Except for Stephanie, who barely finished a small plate of ziti and had only had three sips of wine. My mother had pulled me aside to ask if Stephanie was pregnant, but I told her no. I didn't tell her that Stephanie was grieving the loss of the love of her life. I didn't mention that the ten pounds Stephanie had lost over the past three months hadn't been in an attempt to lose weight before the wedding, but because she seemed to be physically ill from her pain. I never saw her with doughnuts anymore. The last birthday cake I'd bought for her only had two slices eaten from it, one of which had been mine, and whenever we had Pino's for dinner, she could only eat about half of a meatball sub and the rest would go to Bob. I'd spent the rest of the evening watching her, noticing that she tried to look like she was paying attention, but that her eyes glazed over whenever other people were talking. She never once initiated a conversation, but would respond when spoken to.

As we'd driven home in silence, I thought about why I was going through with the wedding. Why did I want to marry a woman who clearly loved someone else? I didn't doubt that Stephanie loved me, but I knew she loved Ranger more and that his loss was more traumatic for her than if something had happened to me. We'd known each other all our lives, she'd given me her virginity on the floor of the Tasty Pastry, and it was convenient that we already knew each other's history. It was expected that we'd end up married and having a couple of kids. I was ready to get married, and even think about having kids, but I knew it couldn't happen with Stephanie. She wasn't entirely sold on either idea, but more importantly she wasn't happy with me. I was going to have to be the one to end it.

I heard her walk down the hall to the bedroom, and a few minutes later I heard her footsteps on the stairs. I heard her go into the kitchen and open the refrigerator.

"Do you want a beer?" she asked. I replied that I did, and thanked her when she handed to me in minute later.

"We need to talk, Stephanie," I said after taking a long swig. I watched her expression and saw a mixture of emotion cross her face. Surprise, concern, relief.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asked, taking a sip of her beer. She was trying to appear unworried, but I noticed how the bottle trembled slightly in her hand.

"We both know I'm not the person you want to be with," I said. There was no point in trying to beat around the bush. She knew exactly what I wanted to talk about. "You've been miserable since Ranger left, and it's pretty obvious to me as to why. You're still in love with him and didn't really know how much until he told you he was leaving town permanently. I think you've stayed with me because you think it's what expected of you, and maybe you even think that you'll eventually get over this because you do love me, just not as much as him. But I know that you won't get over this or ever love me that way. We can't live the rest of our lives like this, so I think it's best to end this now. It's less messy if we don't have to go through the divorce process, especially if there were children involved."

Stephanie didn't say anything for a minute after I finished speaking. She continued to drink her beer and stared at the floor. She didn't try to deny anything or defend herself. After what seemed like an hour, she finally looked up at me.

"I'm sorry, Joe," she whispered. "I'm sorry I let it get to this point."

"Me too," I replied. "You've been miserable without him. At first, you were upset even though you tried to pretend you weren't but for the last two months, you've basically been a zombie. I feel like I don't know you anymore because I've never seen you like this."

Tears welled up in Stephanie's eyes. "Has it really been that obvious? I mean, since after that first month and our fight?"

"Cupcake, you were sitting in broken glass on your kitchen floor that night after he told you. You've lost a good ten pounds in the past two months from simply not eating the way you used to, and I can't remember the last time I saw a real smile on your face. So to answer your question, yes, it has been that obvious."

"I do love you, you know that, right?" she asked. I nodded in response.

"I know, it's just not enough."

We sat quietly for a couple of minutes, listening to the tick of the clock on the wall. I was debating about what to do next when Stephanie finally spoke up.

"I'll go stay at my parent's while I look for a new place to live. Do you mind if I keep my big furniture stored in the guest room until I find a place?"

"You can stay here until you find a place, Stephanie. I don't mind. We can sleep in separate rooms. I don't want to subject you to living with your parents and grandmother. You're in enough pain as it is."

Stephanie gave a humorless laugh. "Thanks. I can sleep on my couch in the guest room until I find something. I don't have the energy to break the news to my family tonight, so I'll call them in the morning. Hopefully we can get most of the money back from our stuff for the wedding."

I nodded and stood. I was exhausted and wanted time to myself to process what had just happened.

"I want you to know something, Stephanie," I told her as she stood up. "I will always love you, and I want you to be happy, even if it isn't with me."

She tentatively came forward and kissed me gently on the lips. "I want the same for you. You're a good man, and you deserve a woman who will only be in love with you and can be everything you want."

I pulled her into a hug and held her for a minute, breathing in the smell of her shampoo. It hurt to let her go, but not as much as I thought it would.


	3. Tank

I met the man who would become my boss ten years ago, when my SEAL team was part of a joint operation with one of the Army's Special Forces units in Iraq. We'd been the leaders of our respective groups and had discovered we had similar personality types. When the shit hit the fan during that mission, he had risked his life to save mine. We'd both been injured as a result, but our mission had been completed and we'd made it out alive. As we recovered in a mobile hospital outside of Baghdad, I'd told him that I owed him my life and if he ever needed me, I'd be there. I had been transferred out the next day, and didn't see or hear from Ranger again until he showed up four years later in Atlanta at the nightclub my brother owned and where I'd been working as bouncer since leaving the Navy the year before. He told me he was getting his own private security company off the ground and needed someone to work with him and to watch his back, as he'd made enemies both at home and aboard since I'd last seen him. I immediately agreed, packed my stuff and moved to Trenton where I saw the business grow from a one-room office to a seven-story building, adding offices in Boston, Atlanta and Miami in the process. Ranger had offered me the chance to run the Atlanta office so that I could be near my family, but I had declined. I wanted to work with him because I felt I owed it to him to have his back no matter what. And I couldn't go back to living in Atlanta for reasons I'd kept to myself.

I still remember the first time Ranger told me about Stephanie Plum. It was one of the rare times that I'd seen Ranger show a lot of emotion. He'd been laughing his ass off as he told me about this former-lingerie buyer cousin of Vinnie's who was going after Joe Morelli. She had no experience whatsoever and had never even held a gun. He'd said if she hadn't been so sexy and determined, he wouldn't have bothered with her, but he wanted to see where she would go with the information he had imparted on her. I saw the progression in his feelings for her as time passed. At first, she'd been an amusing mentee, then she'd become a friend. And then more. I knew the first time that Ranger and Stephanie slept together because his truck had been parked at her apartment all night, and when he'd come into work the next morning, I'd seen a change in him that was a mixture of panic, resignation, and determination. After Eddie Abruzzi kidnapped Stephanie and her sister, I had asked Ranger what he wanted to do. He'd said it was something he had to do alone, and had gone off the grid for the next twelve hours. When Abruzzi had been found in his car at the farmer's market the next morning, I knew why Ranger had gone offline. I also knew that he'd fallen in love with Stephanie Plum.

For the last four years, I hadn't questioned any of the orders he'd ever given when it came to her. I knew that if Ranger was in love with a woman, it meant he would do anything for her and that to lose her would be more painful to him that the worst forms of torture. I'd been puzzled, but amazed as I watched him love this woman who'd spent most of that time in an off-and-on relationship with another man. I never asked him about it, figuring he'd kill me on the spot, but whenever I had a mundane surveillance job to do, I'd find myself trying to figure out why he didn't just fight for her. I suspected he didn't think he deserved her, based on conversations we'd had about the bad shit we'd done in our lives. I'd watched him more closely once Stephanie and Morelli had gotten engaged, but he hadn't seemed bothered in the least for the first few months. Then one day when he came into work, I realized something had changed. His features were hardened and his mood was calmer than usual. He'd called me into his office to say that he was planning to move his base of operations down to the Miami office, and that he would be leaving me in charge of the Trenton office. I'd been told to book him a flight out the next week. I hadn't asked what had changed, but I figured it was something to do with Stephanie and Morelli's engagement seeming to stick. The night he was due to leave, I'd watched his car's signal drive to Stephanie's apartment building, where he stayed for fifteen minutes before coming back to the office. I'd followed his movements on the building's security cameras, noticing his tense posture and deadly calm, followed by the ass-kicking he stared giving the gym's punching bag. When I'd gone down to the gym to try to talk to him, he told me that protecting Stephanie was no longer our concern and that I needed to remove the tracking device from her car. While he got ready to leave, I sat in my office and thought about what I would say to him. I had to be careful, unless I wanted to die that day, but I felt that I owed it to him as a friend to talk about her. I had been in love with a woman named Charlotte, but she'd been killed in a car accident while I was in the Navy, and I hadn't been in love since. Men like us didn't fall in love easily.

"So this is it?" I had finally said to him as I got onto the Turnpike to head towards Newark. "You're just going to run away without a fight?"

He had turned to face my direction and I'd immediately began asking God to forgive me for my sins so that I could get into heaven when Ranger killed me. He'd stared at me for a minute before looking straight ahead again.

"I've waited too long to fight for her now. She's made her choice, and I can't ask her to change her mind. Besides, he can give her a more normal life than I can. She deserves that much."

"How did she handle it when you told her you were leaving?"

"Badly."

We didn't speak again until I pulled up at the drop-off zone at the airport. He hesitated before he opened his door and turned back to look at me.

"Unless the office is bombed or one of the men dies, I won't be coming back to Trenton. And I don't want any reports on Stephanie."

I hesitated before speaking, thankful that Ranger didn't have a gun on him at that moment, but still nervous that he might snap my neck for what I was about to say.

"I think you're making the biggest mistake of your life."

I'd managed to continue to look him in the eye in lieu of what I'd wanted to do, which was curl up in the fetal position and cry for my mother while awaiting the ass-kicking of the millennium. He hadn't said anything, but I'd seen a flash of pain in his eyes before he closed the door. He'd grabbed his suitcase out of the back of the car and headed into the airport without a look back.

Three months later, I'd been working my office when Ramon came in and shut the door.

"I have some information that I thought you might want to know," he said, taking the seat across from me. "It's about Stephanie."

"What about her?" I asked, curious that he was bringing her up. I had followed Ranger's order to remove the tracker from her car, but still monitored her cell phone movements on my computer.

"My cousin works at the bridal salon where Stephanie got her dress. She was supposed to come in for a final fitting last week, but called them instead to say that she wasn't getting married and asked what could be done about getting a refund or partial refund on the dress."

"So are they broken up, or just not getting married?" I asked.

"Broken up. Permanently, according to Gazarra," Ramon replied. "Apparently Morelli and Stephanie are saying that things just weren't working out between them and they decided not to get married, but the rumor around the Burg has been that Stephanie has been heartbroken since Ranger left because she was in love with him."

I'd seen Stephanie outside of the bond's office a few weeks before and thought she looked like she'd lost weight and there were dark circles under her eyes like she hadn't been sleeping well. If she was really miserable about Ranger being gone, it would explain what I'd seen. I hadn't seen Ranger since he'd left for Miami, but Miguel, my Miami counterpart, had told me that Ranger's mood had been darker than usual and that something had seemed off with him. He'd asked if I knew why Ranger had left Trenton, but I'd told him to mind his own business and hung up.

I dismissed Ramon and debated about my next move. I knew Ranger didn't want to hear information about Stephanie, but I couldn't honestly believe he wouldn't want to know that she was available once more. But I needed more details about what was happening before I risked my life and job going against Ranger's orders, so I pulled out my phone and dialed Lula.

Ten minutes later, I disconnected from Lula and immediately dialed Ranger's cell phone number.

"I've got some information for you," I told him when he answered. "But I'm not sure how you'll feel about it."

"What is it?"

"Stephanie and Morelli broke off their relationship for good last week. Lula told me that she's moved back into her old apartment because no one ever rented it after she moved out."

"I told you I didn't want information about her."

"But that was when she was getting married to Morelli. Now she's not. She's miserable without you, according to Lula. She's not been eating or sleeping well since you left and it's evident by looking at her. Do you want me to book you a flight back home?"

All I heard was the beep from my phone that told me the call had been disconnected.

I kept expecting that Ranger would show up at the office one day to inform me that he was back in town to stay. But he never came.

I received a call from him four weeks later to tell me that I needed to meet him in the Atlanta office immediately. The man who had been in charge, Cameron Caldwell, had come home to find his wife in bed with the next door neighbor. Cameron had flipped out, killing the neighbor and then himself. Ranger and I needed to oversee the office while the police investigated the murder-suicide and to figure out who to put in charge in his wake. I got the first available flight out to Atlanta and arrived at the Rangeman offices at eleven that night. Ranger had arrived a few hours before me and had taken personnel files up to his apartment to review. We were due to meet with police detectives at nine the next morning and would be discussing Cameron's replacement immediately after. In our line of work, we didn't have the luxury of mourning periods, but we had agreed on the phone that we wouldn't announce his replacement until after his funeral.

I was up and out the door for a run by six the next morning. It was humid that morning in Atlanta and I was sweating within minutes of walking out the door. Whenever I visited the Atlanta office, I always ran on the same course, which took me past the cemetery where Charlotte was buried. I hadn't been in to her grave since I'd left Atlanta six years ago. It had also been a big reason I'd declined Ranger's offer to run the Atlanta office. Before I moved to Trenton, I'd stopped at her grave every day. I'd known it wasn't healthy, but I'd done it anyway. Rain or shine, come hell or high water.

I ran into Ranger in the control room two hours later. We had an hour until our meeting with the police, so we'd discussed our immediate potentials for Cameron's job. While Ranger talked about his preliminary review of the personnel files, I observed his body language and mood. He was in business mode, but I could tell what Miguel had meant by something seeming off with Ranger. He was colder than usual, more detached than I'd seen him in a long time. It made me realize that I was seeing the man I'd met in Iraq and the man who had initially offered me a job. That man had slowly turned into someone else as Stephanie Plum's place in his life had become more important. He'd become a little softer around the edges, a little funnier, a little more human. The man talking to me was a machine.

Ranger and I were prepared to head back to our respective offices five days later, having attending Cameron's funeral and named Joe Henderson as his replacement. He was leaving town that day to head back to Miami, and I was going back to Trenton the following day. Our conversations had been strictly work-related. No mention of Stephanie or the fact that he'd ignored the information I'd given him.

I took my usual running route that morning, but instead of ignoring the cemetery, I decided to run through it. I stopped running as I got near the spot where Charlotte was buried and walked over to her headstone, which was about three hundred feet from the road. The marble headstone bearing her name gleamed in the morning light. Someone, her parents most likely, had put flowers on her grave very recently. I knelt down in front of her headstone, running my fingertips across her name, regretting that she hadn't had my last name when she died. I'd bought a ring and had been planning to propose when I returned from my tour. I'd gotten the call that she had been killed two weeks before I was due to return home. I kissed my fingertips and rested them on her name.

"I'll always love you, baby," I whispered before standing up. I looked down at her headstone for another minute, feeling more frustrated than ever at Ranger for not going after Stephanie. He had the chance to be with the woman he loved. I'd never have that chance again with Charlotte.

I turned around and headed back to the road, pausing for a moment when I realized that someone had been standing on the road watching me. It was Ranger. He was dressed in a black t-shirt and shorts. He had been out for a run too. We held eye contact as I walked back to the road, my blood pressure rising with each step.

"You're a fucking idiot," I told him as I came up to him. "You pushed Stephanie away until you pushed her right into Morelli's arms, then you ran away because you couldn't bear to see what you had done. If I could have jumped off a bridge or held an old woman at gunpoint to save Charlotte, I would have done so without hesitation. And I never would have let her go to some other man without one hell of a fight. She's in Trenton, but you won't go to her. Instead, you're going to go back to Miami to lick your wounds like some goddamn dog that's been kicked too many times."

I saw Ranger's jaw clench, and I knew I'd managed to really piss him off. I found it ironic that I was going to die in the cemetery where Charlotte was buried, but I thought it might be better that way. Then they could just open up her grave, roll me into it and toss some dirt back over me. He stared at me for a moment, but surprised me when he turned on his heel and started jogging back towards the entrance to the cemetery. I stood frozen for a second before I started looking over my body. I didn't see blood anywhere. No knives sticking out of me, no bullet holes. My neck wasn't broken and I wasn't having some sort of out-of-body experience. I'd survived the confrontation, but wondered if I'd still have a job when I got back to the office.

_a/n: Charlotte comes from Fearless Fourteen, when Tank gets trashed and shows up at Lula's apartment after they got 'engaged' and he calls her Charlotte. I always wondered who Charlotte was. _


	4. Stephanie

I closed my eyes as the smell of Bulgari Green filled the room, making my heart skip a beat. I opened my eyes to reality, which was that I'd been so desperate to feel close to Ranger that I'd splurged on Bulgari Green products in lieu of getting cable installed in my apartment.

My heart ached as I thought about him. I'd always been so confused about my feelings for Ranger, and when I'd gotten engaged to Morelli, I had told myself that I loved Ranger as a friend. A friend that I wanted to sleep with anytime I saw him. When he came to tell me he was leaving Trenton permanently, it had opened my eyes to the truth. We were very much in love with each other. Not in a friendly way, but in a way that was deeper than words could describe. I was nowhere close to feeling that way about Morelli, and I knew without a doubt that I'd never feel that way about anyone but Ranger.

At first, the pain had been from his words and the fact that he'd left, accompanied by the fact that I was an idiot for not realizing the extent of my feelings sooner. I'd thought I was putting up a good front, but after I called Morelli by Ranger's name during sex and the subsequent fight that occurred, I realized that I'd failed. I spent two weeks living with my parents, trying to figure out how to get through it all. I'd called Ranger's cell phone one day while I was there, but it had said the number was no longer in service. The message had hit me like a knife through the heart, because it meant that he was truly cutting me out of his life. I had already found out that the tracking device on my car had been removed, but for some reason that hadn't hurt as much. I spent the next week after making that call trying to figure out how to get through each day with the knowledge that Ranger was out of my life for good. I decided that the best way to do it was to turn into him. Detached and unemotional. It turns out that the effort put into detaching yourself from your emotions is so intense that it takes away your appetite, interrupts your sleep, and makes your sex drive all but disappear. That could also be depression, as Dr. WebMD informed me.

I hadn't been sure what I was waiting for during those next two months as I went through the motions, but when Morelli finally called me out on my mood, I found that I was relieved. What I had been wanting all along was for Morelli to end the relationship instead of me. By him doing it, I didn't feel so guilty for being in love with Ranger. I still felt guilty for not ending it myself, but not as guilty as I would have felt if I had.

Our families had not taken the news well, trying to get us to work out our problems so that they hadn't wasted money on wedding stuff, but we'd simply told everyone that our issues were too deep to fix and that we just needed to move on with our lives. The word of our break-up spread through the Burg like wildfire, along with the speculation—because neither Morelli nor I would confirm it—that the reason behind our break-up was that I was in love with Ranger. The rumor began to die down, however, when Ranger didn't reappear in Trenton following the split, and other rumors started to fly from infidelity on Morelli's part to saying that I was a closeted lesbian and was in a relationship with Lula.

I'd been surprised to find that my old apartment had never been rented out after I'd moved. It was too well-known for being fire-bombed and broken into that no one wanted to risk being mistaken for me. They were so desperate to get someone to move in it that they offered me twenty-percent discount on rent. Despite hating the bathroom with a passion, I couldn't pass up that offer and I moved in the day I signed the lease.

About a week after Morelli and I broke up, Lula came into the bond's office to tell me Tank had called her to ask about the break-up. He hadn't said much to her, but asked a lot of questions, which made Lula think he was going to be calling Ranger.

"He'll be back in town by the time you get home tonight," Lula had said. "I just know it."

So I had anxiously waited for Ranger to appear in my apartment, to be waiting by my car or to even just call me and say "Babe". But nothing had happened in the five weeks since Lula talked to Tank. No sight of Ranger, no phone calls or emails, not even a whisper that he was back in town. My brief elation died after a couple of weeks and was replaced by even more pain. Ranger must have decided that I wasn't worth the effort, even if Morelli and I were over for good, and had moved on with his Stephanie-free life in Miami. He'd probably saved quite a bit of money and time by not having to watch out for me and bail me out of the shit I got myself into on a semi-regular basis. Maybe he hadn't loved me as much as I thought he had. Or as much I love him.

As I finished up in the shower, I thought about what I was going to do with my life. I'd been in a holding pattern for so long with my job and romantic situation that I hadn't stopped to think about what my future might hold if neither man were in it. I'd just signed a year-long lease, so I couldn't go anywhere in the immediate future, but I would have time to think and start looking at jobs elsewhere if that's what I wanted to do. Maybe I'd go somewhere warm that didn't have a Rangeman office, like California. My heart was heavy as I toweled off and dried my hair. I couldn't believe I was actually imaging a future without Ranger in it, but I was slowly beginning to accept the reality that he wasn't coming back to me. It didn't seem real to me that I'd never see him again, but I guessed that over time, like when someone dies, the reality would start to settle in and my life would take on a new normal. I got dressed in an old t-shirt and sweat pants, even though it was only ten in the morning. It was Sunday and it was pouring rain, so I wasn't planning to leave the apartment. I'd rented movies from one of those boxes in the grocery store and was going to vegetate in front of the television for the rest of the day while I overindulged on wine and Tastykakes.

I grabbed my cell phone from the bedside table and headed out to my living room, but I had only gone a few feet into the room when I stopped dead in my tracks and felt my heart stutter in my chest.

Ranger was sitting in a chair in my living room, elbows on the arms with his long legs stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles. He looked my way when he saw me come in the room and we stared at each other for what seemed like forever, as though we couldn't quite believe we were in that moment. I didn't realize I was crying until I felt the tears on my cheeks. Ranger had come back to me. There was no doubt in my mind as to his feelings or intentions. He wouldn't have come back to me for things to just be physical or to just see how I was doing. If Ranger was back in Trenton, it was because he loved me as much I as loved him. It meant he couldn't stand the separation any more than I could.

He finally stood up and walked over to me, his eyes not leaving mine. I willed my feet to move and I only had to take a few steps until I was in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest, taking in the scent of Bulgari Green and Ranger. He rested his head against mine and stroked my hair as the tears continued to fall down my cheeks, soaking his shirt. After a couple of a minutes, he pulled back and titled my chin up. He kissed me gently, telling me everything I needed I know. I deepened the kiss, running my fingers through his hair and pressing my body against his. We broke apart after a minute, both of us breathless.

"What took you so long?" I finally asked.

"I'm an idiot."

"Understood. I have the same affliction."

Ranger looked down at me for a moment before he started placing gentle kisses along my cheekbone to my ear and down my jawline.

"Can we move this conversation to your bed?" he whispered in my ear, running a finger along the waistband on my pants. I moaned slightly and nodded. Words had left me in that moment.

We moved to my room, where Ranger pushed me down on my bed and covered my body with his. Surprisingly, we were both still dressed, but I could feel his erection through his pants, digging into me right above my pelvic bone. We laid in the bed and kissed for several minutes, his hands running a path up and down my body, making me shiver with pleasure and anticipation. He finally pushed my t-shirt off over my head, revealing my bare chest. I was thankful in that moment that I'd decided to go braless for my lazy afternoon at home. One less thing standing in Ranger's way. He kissed a trail down my chest, paying extra attention to each nipple, before getting down to my navel. I shivered as he kissed right below it, touching his tongue to where he had just kissed. He pulled my sweats and underwear off at the same time and threw them on the floor with my shirt. He kissed the insides of my thighs, tormenting me by kissing everywhere except where I wanted him. Eventually his pants joined mine on the floor and we spent the next twenty minutes lost in each other.

"Why didn't you come back sooner?" I asked again as we lay together. "Didn't Tank tell you that Morelli and I had split up after he talked to Lula?"

"He did," Ranger replied, running his fingers along my spine. "I found out five weeks ago, but I'd told myself you were better off without me, so I stayed away. Deep down, I think I was hoping you'd just show up in Miami one day."

"I kept waiting on you to show up here, but then you never came or called. I'd tried to call your cell phone a few months ago, but it said the number was no longer in service. I was worried that you had decided I wasn't worth the bother any more, and that I'd never see you again," I told him.

"I've been miserable these last five months," he replied. "I almost called you several times, and when I was in Boston a couple of months ago, I almost drove here twice, but changed my mind. Staying away from you has been one of the hardest things I've ever done."

"What made you change your mind?"

"Tank did. He called me out on my shit yesterday. His girlfriend was killed in a car accident while he was in the Navy, and he told me he wished that all he had to do was fight for her in order to be with her again. I started thinking about you, and how I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you and I'd never come back to see you again. I wasn't sure if you'd actually want me here, but I had to try."

"I'm glad you took that risk," I said, placing a kiss on his chest. "Are you moving back to Trenton? If not, then I'm coming to Miami."

"I'm coming back. Miami's okay during the winter months, but I prefer Jersey. But I don't have anywhere to live at the moment. I told Tank he could move into my apartment at Rangeman since I had no intentions of coming back and he was left in charge. I even told him he could bring his cats."

"Rex and I would be willing to take you in," I told him. "I got a sweet deal on the rent because no one wanted to live here."

"Because of the bathroom?"

"Because of the fire-bombs and break-ins."

"That's all?"

"I know, right? So what do you say? Do you want to live with me? No rings attached, just love and great sex."

Ranger smiled down at me. "I like the sound of that, but the ring discussion can happen someday if we want. I'm not as opposed to the idea as I used to be."

"Good to know."

_**Five years later…**_

"I'll be fine, I promise," I told Ranger as he stood by the front door. "You don't need to worry about me."

"I expect you to call me the minute anything happens."

"_IF_ anything happens, I promise I will call. You're only going to be gone four days."

"A lot can happen in four days."

We'd been having the same argument for the past two days over whether he should go down to his Miami office to interview new employees. I was due to give birth to a baby girl in two weeks' time, and Ranger was worried that he might not be able to get back in time for the birth if I went into labor while he was gone.

We had only been approaching the conversation of whether we ever wanted to get married, let alone have children, when I'd found out that I was pregnant. I'd been on the pill since he'd returned to Trenton, but had failed to remember to use back-up birth control while on an antibiotic after coming down with bronchitis during the winter. We had a serious discussion about our future while I held the little white stick in my hand, and agreed that we weren't opposed to settling down. We had already bought a house together in Hamilton Township after my lease had run out at the apartment, so we took the next logical step in the settling down path and got married at city hall the following week.

"Would you go away please? My boyfriend wants to be able to visit me once more before the baby is born, and he can't come over if you're still here," I teased.

Ranger rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Have your boyfriend call me if he sends you into the labor with all the sex you two will have while I'm gone."

"Will do."

I kissed him goodbye and closed the door. I was looking forward to a final few days alone before the baby was born. My back had been killing me all day, so all I wanted to do was sit and watch _Ghostbusters_ in my rattiest pajamas while eating a box of Butterscotch Krimpets. I changed into my pajamas, grabbed my Tastykakes and headed to the living room. In the process of getting _Ghostbusters_ off the movie shelf, I knocked off four other movies. Annoyed, I squatted down to pick them up and felt something warm start running down my legs.

"Please tell me I didn't just pee my pants," I groaned out loud. I'd managed to avoid most of the usual embarrassing things that happened during pregnancy up to this point. At least Ranger wasn't around to witness it.

I stood up to assess my situation and felt a cramping in my abdomen that made me suck in some air. It lasted for probably thirty seconds and then relaxed, during which time I determined that I must be going into labor. I walked over to my phone, grimacing at the sensation of my wet sweat pants clinging to my legs and called Ranger.

"You'd better turn around," I said when he answered. "I think we're having a baby today."

"Babe."

_This was a little story that I had in mind and wanted to write. I'm currently wrapping up a long story, and have another one planned for after the beginning of the year. Thanks for reading. _


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